As I write about my experiences for Jan 2010. I have just been weighted in as I like to say and at last I have broken the 150 kilo barrier coming in at 149.3 kilo. So that makes a loss of 5.2 kilo from Nov 09 to now. I was about to give myself a hard time in the loss of so little instead of been grateful for this loss. It amazes me why the first thought has to be destructive and self critical. As I was about to open my mouth and let the viol words go the nurse who weight me gave such a big smile and said you’re a miracle you really are. You have been coming here now for a year and each month you have lost some weight. You may have been thinking, not a lot but it all adds up and you have lost in the year a gigantic 37.1 Kilo that’s 81lbs and 12 ounces and that’s 5stone 12 lbs. Picture that in fat on the table its huge. I then realized that I had a choice in rejoicing in the facts I had just been given or go on slating myself. I choose to smile and to be happy. I know I have another 50 kilo to go and yes it may take me another year or possibly more but I will do it as I am doing it for me.
Going back to this slating element can you relate to this in that the first thing one does when things are not going there way is to get mad but not at the other person, place or institution but at themselves. It has to be my self worth. It is like this feeling of been useless and not feeling we are worth it is a common feeling suffered by me for a long time but I gave it up some years ago with hard work but sometimes I like to wallow in a comfort zone which I know oh so well. It is to do with the fact that I am still discovering who I am and I get revelations every so often and it is up to me to see it. See the bigger picture. I want to be me I want my thinking to be mine not my parents brothers or sisters or close family, friends teachers and so on. I want all my feelings to be mine and not put there by others. This also applies to food and not having the self esteem to be doing the weight loss for the benefit of me and no one else. I am doing this for me. I have also began to see the facts that my perseverance during the 12 months, has shown that all the weight loss of 37.1 kilo is brilliant for me. I am disabled and can’t exercise like an individual who has mobility but I have done all I can to help me. Now I am also seeing something else that has happened over the year. I see I have begun to love me Oliver yes love me and know that I am responsible for my own well been and not some one and no blame is attached to any one for this weight problem. The weight is mine and so it is up to me to continue the work in loosing the weight. The more humour I put into my day the easier it becomes to continue on my health journey. I know that during Dec I wanted the Christmas pudding, the Christmas cake especially the fruit cake which I have a passion for and I have many passions when it comes to food in all honesty and ice cream been another one of them. You have your own List them and see that they are beautiful but to me they are poison as they will put the weight on my body and eventually kill me. This applies to the use of the High St fast foods which we all know who they are.
So for our new year we confirm our resolute in eating very slowly chewing as long as we can and to be eating up to 6 small meals per day of low calorie intake. To maintain our bodies with good vitamin and supplement intake. To exercise weather we are disabled or able bodied persons. It is very necessary to see yourself for you not as others tell you. This program is for you and your benefit in getting healthier and more robust in movement and when you lay your head on your pillow tonight you know you have done the best you could for this day and only this day. No two days are a like. It is my experience that emotions of various names suffice ever so often and I take note of them and relate them to what have I done that this emotion has come up. From this comes knowledge of oneself.
May I wish you a joyful journey on your quest for discovering you.
I have brought out my new e-book The Encyclopedia of Herbs, Fruits & Vegetables. Get it at: http://fat-obese-overweight-lose-it.com/The-Encyclopedia-of-Herbs-Fruits-and-Vegetables/
Any questions please send them to me Oliver@fat-obese-overweight-lose-it.com